Sometimes it is necessary to do self-evaluations. It’s easy to view someone else’s life through critical lenses but try viewing your own. I promise that when you do this, you’ll find that you’ve got work to do.

My grandmother used to say that whenever you point your index finger at someone, just look down at your thumb because it points back to you. You see, she had a “sweep around your own front door” personality. Wow, older people are tough as nails. She’d certainly seen her share of tough days. In my opinion, she had earned the right to be this way.

I learned a song years ago from my great-grandmother Mattie and for some reason it is sticking with me today. It says, “One day at a time, sweet Jesus, that’s all I’m asking of you, give me the strength to do all the things that I have to do.” I know that as long I as live, I have work to do. Sometimes, I even need strength to carry out the tasks at hand. And so one day at a time, indeed , I vow to take.

For some reason, I walked around with this chip on my shoulder acting like the world owed me something. Misery was my middle name. It was so contagious. Pretty soon people started running from me for fear of catching the boo-hoo syndrome and the kill joy bug. My friends did not want to pack on the “why-me weight” and who could blame them?

My goodness, I was awful and selfish for believing that I had a right to put my problems on the next person. I was a lost ball in high weeds, just downright stagnant. “Why, why, why” was my favorite song.

But then, self-evaluation happened. The more I asked why, the more answers I got. I’ll warn you beforehand that the answers you get will not be what you expect. At all! So be ready for the answers. Ladies, it’s about accountability. Now we can sit here and continue to sing the “bad day blues” or the “life’s not fair lullabies” but where is it getting us? Deeper. Deeper into an unending journey of pain and frustration. Be accountable. Definitely take life one day at a time.

So let’s figure out how we can right the wrongs. What could you do different to make things better? Start by letting go of the things you can’t control. Let go of the people and things that hinder you. I can tell you of all the people and things I tried to bring to LaGrange with me. But apparently where I’m headed, they don’t belong. Otherwise, they’d still be here.

Stop repeating the cycle. I caught myself doing that the other day. I’m so glad I recognized it this time. Stop saying what you can’t do and focus on what you can do. Stop worrying about the “have-nots” and be thankful for what you have.

Come on. I’m here with you. Right here. But I’m not hosting a pity party. I want to spread hope in a seemingly hopeless society. At the end of the day, we will arrive at a solution. I want to admonish you to take life one day at a time. Remember, whenever plan A doesn’t work, work until you arrive at plan Z. Something will work for you.

Last night, I was watching the Natalie Cole story. She’s my new hero. During her lifetime, she experienced loss, drug abuse and career lows. But what I loved about her was her humility. It blew me away. Her ability to say, “Hey, I messed up.” She took full responsibility for her life and because of that, her career began to flourish.

Sometimes in life, if success is going to be a part of your story, you have to willing to look at yourself. Hard. And I’m not saying beat yourself up or condemn yourself. I’m saying, evaluate, get a plan and take it one day at a time. One day is all you can do.