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Are you happy? If so, I am happy. But you and I might be exceptions. I just read a report by WalletHub, a personal finance company, that ranks the 50 states on a number of metrics to determine which states are the happiest. Georgia is listed as the 20th happy state.

The criteria for determining how happy we are include things like our emotional wellbeing, how much sleep we get, how many hours we work, whether or not we’re depressed, how safe are we, rate of suicides, whether or not we volunteer, engage in sporting activities and number of divorces.

As usual, we beat Mississippi (42nd), Alabama (44th), West Virginia (48th), Arkansas (49th) and poor old Louisiana (50th out of 50) in being happy like we beat them in everything else. That makes me happy. Bless their hearts.

A number of the states in the Northeast were deemed happier than Georgia. WalletHub doesn’t say why, but I think it is because many of their citizens got tired of living in a place where it snows ten months a year and all the buildings are rusted and decided to move South, which made those who stayed behind happy because they got tired of all the whining. It may also explain why we dropped to 20th because they settled here and we have to listen to them make fun of how we talk.

Before you ask, Hawaii rates No. 1 on the happiness scale. WalletHub says it is because Hawaiians enjoy great physical health, low unemployment, the longest life expectancy in the U.S. and the second-highest share of households with an annual income above $75,000. That, in spite of the fact that U.S. Geological Survey says Hawaii experiences thousands of earthquakes every year. It was interesting to note also that Hawaiians ranked dead last in getting an adequate night’s sleep. I guess worrying about thousands of earthquakes annually can do that to a person.

Maryland was the second happiest state. WalletHub says one big reason is Marylanders like what they do. A bunch of them are federal bureaucrats in Washington, D.C., which means they have lifetime employment. Federal bureaucrats never get fired. What’s not to like about that?

I must also note that New Jersey was rated the third happiest. The Beloved Woman Who Shared My Name was born in New Jersey, even though she moved to Georgia when she was 4 years old and developed a classic Southern accent. When asked where she was born, she would say “Noowuk,” roughly approximating “Newark.”

According to WalletHub’s analysis, New Jersey natives have “supportive relationships and love in their lives” and “happiness in their marriages.” I can personally vouch for that, even those who moved from Noowuk when they were 4 years old.

The bigger question is why does the Great State of Georgia, home to the oldest-state chartered university in the nation and the possessor of the greatest state song in the history of the world, “Georgia on my Mind” as sung by Ray Charles Robinson, of Albany, Georgia, rate only 20th in happiness?

I may be a part of the reason if my mail is any indication. I have opined on several occasions about the desire of an Alabama-based company, Twin Pines Minerals, to mine titanium dioxide in our Okefenokee National Wildlife Refuge so the world will never run short of toothpaste whitener. No one seems to have mentioned that there is titanium dioxide available to be mined in – are you ready? – Alabama.

Knowing this has made a lot of you very unhappy. Having chemical giant Chemours rumored to be buying out Twin Pines seems to have made you even angrier, particularly when the company said in 2022 that it had no intention to buy the project from Twin Pines Minerals.

Proponents of drag mining Trail Ridge aren’t happy with me, either. Gummy-Moving Ox (I can’t make this stuff up) wrote and said he hopes my teeth rot out. A local timber baron is not real pleased with me, I understand, but not because of my dental hygiene.

I suspect Gov. Kemp, State Senate Majority Leader Steve Gooch and Rep. Lynn Smith aren’t real happy with all the controversy but no one knows because they aren’t talking.

But let us end on a happy note. At least we don’t have thousands of earthquakes a year to keep us awake at night and there is a good chance we will never run out of toothpaste whitener. I don’t know about you, but I am happier already.