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You have to be very careful in this business when tossing out opinions. You can get yourself in trouble if you say the wrong thing. This is a litigious world in which we live.

For example, if I say that I think Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is as crazy as a bedbug, I just might find myself facing a libel suit. From bedbugs. Admittedly, bedbugs don’t have the best reputation in the world, but there are certain things even they won’t tolerate. Being compared to Marjorie Taylor Greene is most likely very high on their list. They are, after all, proud members of the species, cimex lectularius. That is in the Eukaryote domain which MTG probably thinks is some country in Eastern Europe full of cross-dressing commies. But then, who knows what this woman thinks? Even bedbugs are scratching their little clypei at that one.

Her latest brain dump concerns the news that “they” can and did control the weather and the hurricanes that have ravaged Georgia and much of the Southeast. Not sure who “they” is but if she is inferring it is the federal government, they can’t control the price of eggs. How can they control the weather?

Her colleagues in Congress didn’t take kindly to her remarks. Rep. Carlos Giménez of Florida, a strong Trump supporter, wrote in response on X, “Humans cannot create or control hurricanes. Anyone who thinks they can needs to have their head examined.” (An aside to any bedbugs reading this: We refer to it as a head. You call it a clypeus.)

Another Republican, Rep. Chuck Edwards of North Carolina, hard hit by Hurricane Helene said it was an “outrageous rumor” and “was NOT geoengineered by the government. Nobody can control the weather.”

Does this kind of hooey stop Greene from belting out her looney tunes? Fat chance of that. Earlier this year, she claimed an eclipse — a phenomenon that is predicted years in advance and has been occurring over many millennia — was a sign from God that people should repent. “God is sending America strong signs to tell us to repent. Earthquakes and eclipses and many more things to come. I pray that our country listens.”

God says America isn’t even in the Top Ten of countries experiencing earthquakes. Not even close. Indonesia has the highest frequency of earthquakes, over 1,600 every year. This nation is located on the Pacific Ring of Fire where 90% of earthquakes of the world originate.

As for eclipses, I suspect God would tell her she needs to pray for forgiveness for politicizing a weather event that killed more than 230 people, caused an estimated $30 billion in damage and left millions without power. He said that was worse than any eclipse He ever created and that she is the one who should be listening and repenting. He said that NASA has a website listing eclipses that are scheduled until the year 3000, when Greene will be 1,026 years old and not in a position to use His name in vain anymore. You can bet God will handle that matter personally. (“Keep your seat, St. Peter. This one is mine.”)

I doubt anything God says would get her attention, anyway. Marjorie Taylor Greene only listens to Donald Trump and Trump is busy at the moment trying to convince us that tomcats are eating all the immigrants in Springfield, Ohio, (or is it the other way around?) Besides, NASA’s website is fake. NASA is fake. The year 3000 is fake.

So, evidently, are the space lasers that Greene suggested caused the wildfires in California that killed over 100 people and scorched 2 million acres in 2018. She said the blazes were not natural. They had been started by the local utility, Pacific Gas & Electric, in conjunction with the Rothschild family, using a Jewish space laser (I assume all the Gentile space lasers were booked that day) in order to clear room for a high-speed rail project. Couldn’t the Rothschilds have just used a match?

I think she has backed off that claim, but I know I am not going to ask her about it. In March, a British reporter innocently posed the question about Jewish space lasers to MTG and she promptly told the guy, “Why don’t you f— off? How about that?”

To all the bedbugs out there, here is the good news. It turns out you aren’t so crazy after all. After reading this, you must be laughing your clypei off at us.