LaGrange hosts annual domestic violence vigil
Published 10:00 am Thursday, October 17, 2024
|
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...
|
Seven minutes and thirty seconds. It took this long to read all the names of Georgians who have lost their lives this year to family and domestic violence.
The annual candlelight vigil in observance of Domestic Violence Awareness Month was held in the downtown square on Tuesday night. The event was hosted by the Troup County Domestic Violence Task Force and Harmony House, a Domestic Violence shelter in LaGrange.
Community members, survivors, local leaders and law enforcement all showed up to honor those who have, are and will be affected by domestic violence. Mayor Pro Tem, Quay Boddie, gave the invocation.
The most impactful portion of the event was a survivor story from Yolanda Bacilio. Bacilio started by reading an email to her future self, which she penned in 2011. It detailed an experience early into her marriage with her abuser when he choked her and threatened to kill her.
“I wish I could say it was the beginning of the abuse, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t the beginning of the physical, mental or emotional abuse that I lived with for almost 16 years,” said Bacilio. “The physical [abuse] would come later after my self-esteem, self-respect and self-confidence had been stripped away.”
She continued, “My name is Yolanda Bacilio. I’m an educated, intelligent woman, and I am a survivor of domestic or intimate partner abuse,” Bacilio said to tearful applause from those gathered. “I finally reached my breaking point before it was too late, unfortunately, there will be hundreds in this state alone this year that don’t make it out.”
Bacilio went into the emotional, physical, sexual and financial abuse she endured at the hands of her abuser. Throughout her story, she made it clear that the decision to leave did not happen overnight. As time went on, the ability to separate herself became more difficult as she became more isolated and her ex more controlling. Rather than one moment, it is a series of events that lead to her asking for a separation. One of those moments came at the vigil.
“I remember standing here at the candlelight vigil in October of ‘22 reading the names of the domestic violence victims that had died the previous year in Georgia, and I broke down. The reason that I broke down was because I knew my name, very well, could have been one of those being read.”
It was around six months later when Bacilio asked for a divorce. She said came to a settlement agreement quickly, not wanting to draw the process out.
“I’m not angry, and I have forgiveness. I have no desire to see anything bad happen to him, and no one will ever hear me say his name when I tell my story, because it’s not necessary,” Bacilio explained. “Vengeance and retribution, those things, they’re not mine to see.”
Events like the candlelight vigil are not symbolic gestures, but moments to grieve and heal.
“In October of last year, I once again stood here with some of my sorority sisters reading the names of the victims taken by domestic violence at the vigil, and this time, it was different for me. I knew I was well on my way to a new life, a peaceful life,” Bacilio said.
Today Bacilio said her physical scars are healed and her emotional ones are healing. Before she was joined on stage to read the names of those who passed in 2023 as a result of domestic violence, she left the audience with a question.
“If you are suffering silently, consider, what is your done point? When is your breaking point? Don’t stay until it’s too late,” she said emotionally. “You might not be able to stand here and tell your story. If you are a friend or family member or someone that you think is being abused, or you see is being abused, if you see something, say something.”
